What happens when you cross a piece of theatre with a game review? Something quite interesting we have been discovering. So interesting in fact that we will soon be hitting the road and performing our review scripts infront of a real living audience.
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Today Adam is:
Scene: Bob's man pad, an empty stage apart from a mini fridge and a sofa. Two young people enter on stage. One of them (Bob) is wearing a tuxedo; the other (Fred) is wearing normal casual clothing. They are both carrying x-box 360 wireless controllers.
Fred: Dude, what's with the tux?
Bob: The fans love the tux mate.
They sit on the sofa and start to play
Bob: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another edition of ‘Like it or Loathe it' the definitive video games sofa review show.
Fred: Umm what are you doing?
Bob: Uhh, what does it look like I'm doing? On tonight's show we have a very special guest.
Fred: No dude, seriously what are you doing?
Bob: Introducing the show. He's been playing video games since before space invaders was retro sheek.
Fred: Bob! You're worrying me, mate. Who are you talking to?
Bob: The audience....duh!
Fred: What audience? There's no one there.
Bob: Ahh finding it hard to picture are you, well I like to imagine that we're in a theatre of some sort, with a full audience watching our every move looking forward and anticipating the banter and amusing antics that undoubtedly will occur.
Fred: So you're talking to an imaginary theatre full of people?
Bob: No! Not imaginary, they are there you just can't see them.
Fred gets up and walks to front of stage
Fred: (agitated) There's no-one there!!! Look around you it's just you and me in your basement, and I'm starting to think that you're not all here at all.
Bob: Ahhhh my foolish young friend
Fred: I'm two years older than you!
Bob: At this moment you are being beamed LIVE into hundreds, maybe thousands of households, thanks to my trusty webcam and the uplink to my videogame review website BobTV.com
Fred: Bob TV
Bob: Exactly. In each episode I get a special guest in and we review a video game
Fred: And I'm your special guest
Fred: And I'm at this moment LIVE on the internet
Fred: So people can see me!
Bob: Yes they can
Fred: Right now!
Bob: Mate we're losing airtime here
Fred: You could have told me. I'd have dressed up
Bob: I did tell you
Fred: When exactly
Bob: I said do you wanna come round to have your ass kicked on X-box LIVE
Fred: Yeah how does that tell me I'm going to be on a television show?
Bob: Actually it's a web show, this is Webisode three
Fred: Whatever it is, how did you tell me I was going to be in it!
Bob: Were you not listening? I said I'd kick your ass on X-box (pause) LIVE!
Fred: (pause) I see (pause) well in that case
Fred walks off stage
Bob: Uhh Fred (pause) Fred (pause) umm we're LIVE here Fred (pause) umm ladies and gentlemen I apologise for this err technical error. I'm sure we'll have it sorted out very soon. In the mean time here is the ummm the err
Fred returns to stage with tuxedo and slicked back hair
Bob: Oh thank god
Fred: Welcome to Bob and Freds Videogame blitz.
Bob: Say what now?
Fred: Each week we shall review and rate the latest and the greatest in the video game community.
Bob: Excuse me?
Fred: Titles old and new for us to explore and for you to find out just how to spend your hard earned pennies
Bob: What are you doing!
Fred: Taking over Bob (calmly) taking over.
Bob: But this is my show
Fred: Our show Bob. It's perfectly logical
Fred: Yes you see, you have the tech to put us on the net, build a loyal fan base
Bob: I have a loyal fan base!
Fred: I logged on with my i-phone when you told me what was going on. You have currently me and two guys in Bognor watching.
Bob: Aww hi Dave, hey Jeremy.
Fred: It's time to branch out my friend: Look at it this way. With me on board every week you won't need a special guest.
Bob: But I liked special gues...
Fred: You won't need to con people to get them on the show.
Bob: (Pause) Fair point well made.
Fred: And you can have access to my immense back catalogue of games.
Bob: Ok you argue a good point, but how are we gonna get it out to more people?
Fred: I know this guy over at www.gamepeople.co.uk leave it to me and I'll get us our audience.
Bob: Why not.
Fred: Ok then, that's all we've got time for today so join us next week when the real fun begins
Bob: I'm Bob
Fred: And I'm Fred
Bob and Fred: and we're the Scripted Gamers....
To be continued...
With so many different perspectives it can be hard to know where to start - a little like walking into a crowded pub. Sorry about that.
But so far we've not found a way to streamline our review output - there's basically too much of it. So, rather than dilute things for newcomers we have decided to live with the hubbub while helping new readers find the columnists they will enjoy.
Our columnists each focus on a particular perspective and fall into one of the following types of gamers: